i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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