So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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