remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
