So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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