So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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