I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
