You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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