How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to have your abortion
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize