she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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