Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
