I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
