Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
