im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'd cum for enchiladas.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize