All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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