I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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