she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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