can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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