I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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