one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
