I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
