last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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