lets start a swedish sibling band together
only you would photoshop your dick
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
