Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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