Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
