I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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