it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
