Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
