omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize