Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
