you win again, gameday.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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