he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
