you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
