First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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