So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
