Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
