You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
