i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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