The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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