Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
