you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
