It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
