oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize