I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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