I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
