as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
