I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
