Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
