Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
