I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
