Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So squirting runs in the family.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
