ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
