"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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