I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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