so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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