I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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