About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
