I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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