I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There's always time for handjobs
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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