I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
