I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
